Focus on Gratitude

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, 

while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

"Your talent is God's gift to you.  

What you do with it is your gift back to God." - Leo Buscaglia

"Even in a life full of challenges, like living with chronic pain, 

there is always something to be grateful for." - Lauren Zalewski

"The more you express gratitude for what you have, 

the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for." - Zig Ziglar

"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was 'thank you', 

that would suffice." - Meister Eckhart

"Gratitude turns what we have into enough." - Aesop

Awaken

I open myself to authenticity and vulnerability and something spiritual (Divine) emanates from my core. This opening is "voice".

We are all spiritual beings.  The greatest gift we can give is ourselves. We are all uplifted when we share our kindness and love.  Our loving thoughts, words, and actions ripple out to touch all humankind. Each act of forgiveness and gratitude benefits everyone.

I all feel as if this past year and a half, I have been working through my obstacles to my spiritual growth. I need to be kind and gentle with myself as I seek to stop habitual responses.

All of our work is spiritual work. The joy is in the work itself.  Step forward, one day at a time. I strive to replace disappointment with acceptance, compassion, and understanding.

What can we do to melt the hearts of those who build walls?

These past few months, I have had the privilege to lead and participate in our high school Unity Day program. In this program, 100 students of influence and diversity gather with their teachers and my team in a gym. We discuss issues around racism, sexism and conflict.  I continue to be impressed with the young adults willingness and desire To have deep levels of conversation. We all want to be known and excepted.

Empathy is part of our biology. Mirror neurons in our brains confirm our biological capacity for empathy and compassion.  If I hurt my finger, the same part of my brain that lights up showing pain will also light up in others who are watching me. As I ask students questions about times in their lives when they have been excluded, alone, unwelcome, or afraid, I see empathy and compassion on the faces of those who witness the experience.

There is no reality that divides us. It is our perception of reality that divides us.

Truth shared openly connects us. Truth kept secret separates us. We must take time to listen to the underlying truth that connects us all.

I continually ask myself and others, what can we do to melt the hearts of those who build walls?

Mr. Rudy Bell

"It is not our differences that divide us. 

It is our inability to recognize, adapt, and celebrate those differences." - Audre Lorde

I grew up in rural South Jersey where we grew silver queen corn, tomatoes, and asparagus. Growing up in an extended family environment, I only knew blood relatives until I went to school. In Kindergarten my Mom was the teacher. She taught love and respect to and for everyone.

I first met people from other cultures when I played Little League baseball. We had baseball, play, and fun in common. My primary concern was being the best I could be and helping my teammates be the best they could be. I found a common goal can bring people together.

When I was a little older I moved to Babe Ruth Baseball. I was on a very good team that was coached by Mr. Bell. Mr. Rudy Bell was a beloved early role model in my life. Mr. Bell was a black man. He was kind, caring, and a great teacher of baseball. One day while sliding into home plate, I opened a significant deep gash on my right leg. The scar is still prominent at the age of 68. Mr. Bell took me or should I say carried me, to the neighborhood doctors office. In those days small town doctors did everything. I was a frightened kid who loved that Mr. Bell stood by my side until my parents arrived. Later, as I healed, I remember saying to my dad "If you weren't my father, I would want Mr. Bell to be my father." The innocence and truth of youth.

Remember this is the early 1960s. The civil rights movement is in full bloom. People are dying for their freedom, as they still are today. My Dad wrote an article in our local newspaper. He wrote about Mr. Bell, how much he admired him, appreciated what he had done for me, and what a role model he was for our community. My father ended the article by writing, "If I was not my son's father, I would choose Mr. Bell to be my son's father." That was the beginning of my passion for diversity and equity. I know that acceptance, understanding, and celebration of diversity will heal our troubled nation.

We are all part of Gods loving creation. We are all an essential part of our exquisite diverse humanity.

We must rebuild community

I am deeply concerned by the divisiveness, anger and hatred I see in the nation that I love.  My Father was a patriot, serving in both the Coast Guard and as a Navy Pilot during World War II.  He was also my first role model for equity and diversity as he wrote articles in support of the Civil Rights movement.  I feel that what my Dad courageously stood and spoke for was being challenged by voices of fear and hatred. 

There is so much fear.  Fear of those we "perceive" to be different than us.  I have come to learn that we don't know someone until we know them.  We need the courage to build connection, build relationship, and build community.  We must stop the dehumanizing narratives that tell us that women, the poor, those with darker or lighter skin, the disabled, the old, the young and the non gender conforming are all less than. 

When we speak of "they" in derogatory terms, we undermine our collective humanity.  We must focus on "we."  We must rebuild community.  Community contains Unity.  Community needs to be diverse to be healthy.  A single perspective leads to destruction and death.

"No one thing or place has a privileged point of voice, that is, no one point of view holds the entire truth.  The primacy of any one point of view is not only invalid, but damaging and disrespectful to the inherent unity of life." - Einstein, Zajonc, Nepo

Community only exists when we know each other's story.

Honoring Black History Month

Black History Month honors generations of men, women and children who were brutally taken from their homes.  We honor all those who were treated inhumanly.  We seek forgiveness for our ancestors who tore families apart in slavery.  We pray in honor of those who gave their lives in post slavery hatred, violence, cruelty, and atrocity. 

We acknowledge that the wounds still linger.  We honor the lives of African American men and women who shine as beacons of nonviolence, courage, compassion, and human greatness.  We all must continue to honor diversity and work for equality and equity. 

We must continue to facilitate deep dialogue about racism, and justice for all.  The work is heartbreaking and inspiring.  The power to overcome is deep within each of us.  Courage and commitment is required every day.

We must remember the Divinity in everyone.  We must listen with our hearts to the stories of each others truth.

"Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all." - Aristotle

One of the principle concepts that motivates me to still be working full-time as a teacher at 68 years of age is the truth.  I love to share, reflect and search for the truth.  I find that in my authenticity and vulnerability, I find my truth and can better listen to your truth.

In my teaching, I love to create a safe emotional environment where we can create community.  In an emotionally safe community, the truth can be revealed, spoken and experienced. When we share our truth with each other our perspective, understanding, compassion and empathy grows.  As we share the depth of our truth we open ourselves and each other to the spiritual.

"I am a ripple in the ocean of God, and I want to be able to see my reflection in the face of everyone I meet, to understand that even people I will never know are reflections of my undisguised self." 

- Mark Nepo

Share our stories

The exploration of our shared humanity is a privilege that I have been deeply committed to for my past 68 years.

Each day I begin my exploration with meditation, self reflection, and assessment. I deliberately focus on the good I can give and the good I will receive. I have a genuine interest in people I meet and interact with throughout my day. I do my best to smile and have a positive attitude. I strive to be a good listener and focus on remembering peoples names. I think calling someone by name is a sign of respect.

I love to listen to people stories. We all have a life story. I believe our stories are our wealth. I feel that our stories reveal we are more similar than different. In the sharing of our stories, I find perspective, understanding, compassion, and empathy.

I encourage all of us to embrace our story. Speak our truth. In speaking our truth and sharing our story we are all able to listen to other truths, embrace other stories and feel the unity in diversity.  We are hardwired for connection.

"Authentic social connection has a profound effect on your mental health - it even exceeds the value of exercise and an ideal body weight, on your physical health." Dr. James Doty

Kindness, respect, understanding, compassion and empathy is good for everyone.

What Schools Need

Schools do not need more standardized tests

Schools do not need more technology

Schools need servant leaders

Schools need servant leaders who put service above ego,

who can persevere through challenge and crisis,

who will stay present even when it is uncomfortable.

Schools need servant leaders who care about children, parents, staff, 

and the diverse community we all live and work in.

Schools need servant leaders who will not be lead down a false path of faster is better, 

force wins, and degrees make you smarter than someone else.

Schools need servant leaders who will receive and celebrate the human spirit.

Schools need servant leaders who will recognize that time and attention are more important than expediency and the next new cell phone app.

Schools need servant leaders who have the courage to share leadership 

and empower staff, students, and parents.

Schools need servant leaders because we have lost our way as a nation. 

Children should not be put in cages and parents should not be punished for sacrificing everything for their child's well-being. We need servant leaders who will remember the courage it takes to intervene with hatred, violence, poverty, addiction, and mental illness.

We have not lost our way because of lack of ideas or technology. We have lost our way because of a lack of courage. The solutions are already here. Servant leaders have the courage to be caring, compassionate, empathetic, understanding, patient, firm, clear, forgiving, and grateful.

Servant leaders live in integrity.

Schools need servant leaders.

A new year...it is quite simple

Something eternal has been born in me. I have no choice but to nurture it until it reaches its full growth and maturity.

I have been studying, experiencing, practicing, and teaching to become my best self for the past 68 years. I am aware that we all have been blessed with the sacred spark of Divinity within each of us.  I know that spark grows and blossoms as we serve others.

I continue to feel deeply called to a life of service. I am gravely concerned for our nation, our families, our communities, and our children, all our children. I have no interest in a political debate. Either I am serving the greater good or I am not. It is that simple. The greater good is quite simple to me.

Am I kind?
Am I respectful?
Am I compassionate?
Am I responsible?
Am I conscious and aware?
Do I seek to be a better person today than I was yesterday?
Will I make a greater contribution to our world today than I did yesterday?

"Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there." - Rumi

We must move beyond judgment that lacks understanding. We must meet in the open field of compassion and love.

We are all blessed

"The eye with which I see God is the same eye with which God sees me." - Meister Eckhart

You matter!

We are not the limited entities we think we are.  We are much, much more.  We are one with the Divine. Wherever we are, whatever we think or feel, we are connected to Divinity. When we are aware of our Divine connection, we know we matter.

We are never alone. The Divine source encompasses us and flows through us. Spirit is always with us.

We would be wise to put our egos aside and let spirit fill us with love and healing.  We only need to breathe and be aware of the great and loving gift that resides inside and around us.  

Let us quiet our minds and rest in spirit

We all matter

We are all blessed

A Sense of Purpose

"Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it."

- Buddha

I believe that living a life full of a sense of purpose and meaning is connected to health and longevity. 

"The evidence shows a sense of purpose, and being engaged in your day to day is indeed health protective. A significant decrease in stress and inflammatory makers is noted in people with high eudaimonic well-being." (Eudaimonic means striving for a noble, meaningful purpose.)

- Dr. Kelli Harding, "The Rabbit Effect"

The primary pathway to a sense of purpose and meaning is learning. I have been blessed with a lifelong passion for learning. Learning is my second favorite thing in life. My favorite thing in life is holding my wife Sandra. 

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." - Plutarch

Make sure you are engaged in activities that you find meaningful. Develop your sense of purpose voluntarily to serve others, learn through a variety of resources ie. podcasts, books, classes, and speaking and listening to other perspectives.

Love and Kindness

"We've learned to fly the air like birds. We've learned to swim the seas like fish. And yet, we haven't learned to walk the earth as brothers and sisters." 
- Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. 

For many years I have known the impact of love and kindness on our physical health. I have shared stories of this impact. Recently, I read the following in Dr. Kelli Harding's new book, "The Rabbit Effect".

"Our physical health and well-being is intimately connected to our social and emotional health. In the 1970's we found rabbits developed heart diseases like humans if fed a diet high in fat. When fed diets heavy in fat, the rabbits had high cholesterol and high blood pressure. They were destined for heart attack and stroke. All of them were going to die because of their diet. All of them except those that were loved. One group of rabbits had significantly less fatty deposits in their arteries. The rabbits with healthy hearts had been touched, cuddled, petted and talked to by their post doc lab worker. Because they were loved they would live.

Kindness and love make a difference in our overall health and well-being. Ultimately, what affects our health in the most meaningful ways has as much to do with how we treat one another, how we live, and how we talk about what it means to be human then with anything that happens in the doctors office." 

- Dr. Kelli Harding

Social Emotional Learning is intimately connected to our health and wellness. Social Emotional Learning is the convergence point for health, wellness, trauma informed care, diversity, equity, relationships and community. Social Emotional Learning connects love and kindness to how we treat ourselves, how we treat each other, and how we treat our world.

The Power of Touch

The following is from the "The Rabbit Effect" by Dr. Kelli Harding.

"Oxytocin is known as the "love hormone" because it's involved in bonding, empathy and trust. It is released at childbirth and during breast-feeding, as well as when we hug, kiss, and snuggle. 

Oxytocin helps us remember faces and build connection, and it increases steadily during the first six months of parenting for moms and dads."

"Oxytocin helps us feel calm, appreciated and even sing more."

"There's a biological reason that a friends supportive hand on our shoulder 

or a pat on the back comforts us."

"The sense of connection from touch is more than emotional attachment. There's a physiological factor. Holding hands lowers our blood pressure, heart rate, and cortisol."

This powerful research encourages me to continue to speak to the power and importance of connection in education. How do we connect? A high five, fist bump, handshake, hug, pat on the back. Maybe connection is through the eyes. A long, sustained listening with sincere eye contact. We must continue to create connection and build relationships with our students and our colleagues. Relationships are the most important part of a happy, healthy and successful life. We must invest time and energy in building classroom and school relationships. We must celebrate our various backgrounds, cultures, histories and skills.

We all need to be loved.

Real kindness requires strength, compassion, empathy, patience and generosity of spirit

"Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, 

or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, 

and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, 

those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance." - Robert F. Kennedy

What can I do today to be kind? What small good can I offer my little corner of the world? Our hellos, thank you's, have a good day and can I help you with that, are all micro kindnesses. Micro kindnesses are those daily thoughtful actions that bring good into the world. Anything that supports human value, growth, health and development, helps create a community of emotional safety and caring. 

Kindness requires courage. There is nothing courageous us about manipulation, lack of civility, we're shutting down and opposing perspective. Real kindness requires strength, compassion, empathy, patience and generosity of spirit. 

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. 

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

We must conquer fear. Let us all pray and act to be courageous and kind and know that every micro kindness is an act of love.