Faith

Love is always my goal. I have come to learn that faith is one of the key components in reaching the goal of love.

In grieving the passing of our daughter Ashley, my wife Sandra and I often turn to each other and ask "What do people do without faith?"

Faith is how I keep my mind and heart open. For me, faith is not some dogma, prescription, or mutual agreement on right and wrong. Faith is whole and complete in and of itself. For me, faith is a bit of heaven right now. In my faith, I speak to Ashley. I listen to her continuing message of unconditional love. In my faith, I strive to be a person she would admire.

My faith helps me stay positive and productive. My faith keeps me from negativity and resentment. My faith keeps me writing, teaching, speaking, and serving. Faith helps me create what I want to see in the world.

Without faith, I would be in despair and depression. Faith enhances my perspective, seeing even the loss of my beloved daughter as part of the path to unconditional love.

We must share our stories...

 "Whoever survives a test, whatever it may be, must tell the story. That is his duty." - Elie Wiesel

It has been my privilege to tell our special needs daughter Ashley's story for 39 years and I will continue to share her story. Ashley's passing into another life is not the end of her story. I revisit her birth, the first diagnosis of seizure disorder, and the words "severely, profoundly retarded." That was the first loss. Then multiple surgeries and multiple life-and-death struggles.

When I tell her story, I affirm her life and the lives of all special needs children and families. I share the challenges and fears and I also share the blessings and grace that emanated from her angelic nature.

In telling her story, I also continue my healing process and hope the telling of her story provides healing to others. I want to help others see the light and unconditional love of Divinity that was our daughter's life.

I hope I can ease the pain for others. I have come to learn that my tears are love. Never apologize for your tears. Each drop of salty tears is your heart pulsing "I love you."

I tell my story so we all can find connection through courage, vulnerability, authenticity, and love.

When we love, we emanate Divinity

It is important to remember that there are far more people in the world working every day for love, peace, justice, equity, equality, and respect for diversity, than those opposing them. There are people everywhere, just like you, who are being kind, empathetic, compassionate, and forgiving. We are standing in a global community of generosity and love.

"I have one life and one chance to make it count for something...my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference." - Jimmy Carter

I continue to devote my life to teaching compassion, acceptance, and love. I strive to build tables of welcome and abundance and tear down walls.

"Love is the greatest force in the universe." - Martin Luther King Jr.

When we love, we emanate Divinity.

Love is Life

We feel the pulse of love as we connect with strangers through a smile and hello. We feel the depth of long-lived love as we depend on those intimate few who sustain our life. The human need to love and be loved is as essential as food, water, and shelter. We build a life of support, nourishment, empathy, compassion, and love.

Then, like shattered glass or a broken bone, one of our deepest, dearest ones passes from this life. The world stops, our hearts break, and our tears of love fall like rain. Our lives will never be the same.

And then we realize love is still there. Love is not a solid object. It has no beginning or end. Love is not limited. Love is a creative energy of the universe and will never be contained.

The love we received continues to flow in our direction. The love we extended continues as I say good morning to my daughter's picture. I rest in love as I pray with her every morning, and every night.

Even in sorrow, love continues to move and grow. In bittersweet compassion, we spiritually embrace, knowing we are forever bound together. Family, life, love.

Every kindness leads to a building of trust and unity

My current learning is that we face adversity by moving directly through it. By feeling everything; the fear, anger, grief, longing, and even the physical pain. I move forward, knowing all those I love are in me. In moving forward and experiencing all of my feelings, I live more deeply.

In every day, and every moment, there is an opportunity for kindness. The picking up of trash that is not yours or the gracious greeting to someone,you do not know. We must cooperate with life and each other. We must be responsible and know that as we give, we receive.

Every kindness leads to a building of trust and unity.

God has chosen each of us to be God's emanation of unconditional love in this world. We are each in a unique situation, where we can choose to share God's love with others.

Whatever your role, whatever your task in this life, please choose to share God's unconditional love.

Tears of love...

In moments when I am overwhelmed with grief and I feel as if I am drowning in sorrow, I remember that my tears are love. My love is not a memory of a past shared experience but a powerful force which is sustained and nurtured in the present. Love transcends time and space. My daughter is in her new life and she sends me letters of hope on the tears of love.

Creating from pain and love

The place inside of us that grieves. The place inside where we feel pain and longing for our lost love. The place we suffer is reminding us of how much we care, of how much we love. 

Let us care enough to act. Let us put our love into service. Let us create. Maybe it is a meal we serve, a garden we grow, a race we run, a painting, a dance, a poem, or a song we sing. 

As we create from our pain and love, we open the door to connection and unity.

"by doing small things with love..."

"Heaven is within us and inside every moment." - Mark Nepo

We touch the sacred peace of unity when we are authentic and vulnerable. We must stand fast with courage when we open to the depths of unconditional love and bittersweet heartache.

We must renew our commitment to being awake and alive. We must serve the good with gratitude and forgiveness. We humbly acknowledge the great gift of life. We seek the joy of unity.

We become connected when we care for each other. We endure the challenges of life by being fully human. It is kindness and compassion that will help us evolve. We face adversity with learned perseverance and resiliency. We move forward learning to live more deeply. We know in the depths of our souls that we can outlast the storm.

We are being asked to cooperate with life. Be kind, be respectful, be responsible, to everyone.

Mother Teresa reminds us that courage is found "by doing small things with love".

Our greatest hope...

"I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water on in thin air but to walk on earth." Thich Nhat Hanh

I have been blessed with so many miracles. I am married to a Saint. Sandra, my wife of 44 years has cared for our special needs daughter, Ashley for 39 years. Ashley need constant care 24/7 and Sandra gave her everything with great love and joy.

Ashley is and always will be our Angel. A true embodiment of unconditional love. 

Every day I interact with the miracles of educators helping, caring, teaching, and loving children.

Our greatest hope for the future is all the love that educators bring to the lives of our children.

This moment is essential

We have always been here and will always be here. It is what we do with today that is essential. Today is the only thing in our control. This moment is essential.

I am continuing to learn that as our physical body ends, our soul still leaves a wave of positivity and love. The legacy of our empathy and compassion ripples through the universe forever. Every action, every word, and every thought we have makes a difference to someone. Our soul's journey continues past the physical life. With each breath we take, let us make our lives a tribute to unconditional love.

Give yourself permission to bring the gifts of your best self to life now. Who you are and what you do matters.

The essential...

When you know the fragility of this human body, your perspective on life narrows to what is essential.

Two years ago, I had a six-hour open-heart surgery. It was very important to me to let family and friends know how much I loved them.

Four weeks ago, I experienced the excruciating pain of losing our beloved 39-year-old daughter. As Sandra and our two sons and I stood by Ashley's bedside in ICU for the last three days of her life, my perspective on life deepened to what matters, to the sacred, to the essential.

There were no thoughts of work, ambition, success, or what others thought of me. The final three days with Ashley were full of unconditional love, deep and powerful meaning, and knowing that she was with God.

If you are at a place in your life where you think about legacy, give thanks that you are alive and those you treasure are alive. Take nothing for granted, if you love someone, let them know. Now! And again, and again, and again.

Every step forward...

Every laugh we share, every touch, and every tear we shed, is a reminder that life is sacred. From our greatest loss can rise our soul embracing a new life.

My life has been spent in education and mental health services. We're all healers and as we heal others, we heal ourselves. 

We can not escape our pain. I do not even try. My tears flow with love. I carry my beloved daughter with me and hold her close to my heart. Acceptance moves me forward.

Every step forward is an act of love. Maybe we love our pets and warm them with our unconditional love. Maybe we are teachers, counselors, nurses, and therapists. Maybe we disconnect from technology and look into the eyes of the person across from us and love them.

Acts of Love

I have watched as my dear wife Sandra has made a gift of her life. Everything she has done for our special needs daughter, and all of us who are blessed to be in her presence, is full of love and selfless service. 

Sandra models the heart of God. Unconditional love is a form of worship and a source of joy. Let us seek to uplift everyone we meet.

As we uplift others we are uplifted in the process. Compassion is self-fulfilling because in truth, as we give to another, we give to ourselves. Every kindness, every smile, every act of love benefits ourselves and the whole world.

You are never excluded from love

In our challenging times, the arms of unconditional Divine love embrace us.

The Divine is with us always. Unconditional love is an essential aspect of our nature. We are all immersed in the beauty of life.

Love is in the breath you take, in the hands you hold, in the thoughts you think, and in the sun that warms your face.

You are never excluded from love.

Grief

Now a week after Ashley's passing from this earthly life, I find myself affirming her life, hearing her calling me to continue, and seeing her everywhere. Even in grief, she comforts me and brings meaning to my life.

Nothing is normal. It never was for us and it never will be. Ashley is now free from pain. There are no more seizures. She is at peace. And I feel her sending peace and unconditional love to all of us.

I have asked my family to surround me with her pictures. I need to see her ageless, angelic face, especially her perfect little nose.

I weep freely reminding myself and Sandra that every tear is love.

I look forward to continuing to share her story of unconditional love.