Hope

Hope is such a powerful and beautiful concept. Where there is hope, there is light. Hope is the flickering candle in the darkest night. Hope is spirit shining deeply within us.

Hope is our loved ones whispering "all is good." I am happy, I am full of peace.

Hope reminds us that death is not the end of life. Death is a passageway to new life.

Hope is the essence of life itself bubbling up, effervescent, flowering in the spring snow.

I hear my daughter in the bird song of early spring. I see her in the fawn that steps to nibble the new growth on the side of the trail. I feel her in the breeze that she's so loved.

Her love and presence continues.

Road of Healing

"If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness, and the willingness to remain vulnerable." - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

This has been my journey these past few months. I pray to stay open and vulnerable to life's experiences. I hope that with time and love, I continue to move forward, not move on, but move forward. Move forward into greater strength, less fear, and greater health and wholeness. This being healthy is hard work, 24/7, diligent, disciplined, committed work.

As I travel this road of healing, I take my time, I pause, I notice, and I find gratitude.

I sense others who may need my help and I stay open to the help of others.

The Healthy Community

The healthy community is measured by its passion for all its members.

The healthy community seeks to understand all its members. Community asks us to invest our time and energy in one another. Community nurtures, supports, cares for, and each other holds responsible.

I am my sibling. I am my parent. I am my caregiver. I am every member of my community.

Listen to understand

Listen to forgive

Listen to love

"The Inseparable Family" Artist: Paul Akiiki, Uganda

Love and Fear

We are living in a challenging time. The balance of love and fear is in constant motion. Hate has come out of the darkness and shouts loudly rather than admit it is afraid.

We individually must take responsibility for our past transgressions and ask for forgiveness. As we have the courage to heal individually, our healing energy will ripple out and impact a global healing.

We are born to be good. We are on a journey to discover our unconditional and loving nature. Through this journey of vulnerability, we bring unity to the world.

Everything we say, and do affects someone deeply. We are beginning to understand that as we offer love and healing to others, we find love and healing.

Bittersweet Gratitude

 "It is the nature of grace to fill spaces that have been empty." - Goethe

In experiencing the loss of my beloved daughter Ashley, I find so many open spaces in my life. Open and empty spaces where I would call to her, "Good morning sweetheart, how do you feel this morning?" Say goodnight with a prayer of gratitude and a kiss on her forehead. Those and many other moments are now open. Now, what do I do? Well, Ashley still speaks to me. "Tell my story Daddy, help others who have special needs children. Share my lessons of resilience and unconditional love."

This is my bittersweet gratitude. Even though she is not physically here she sends blessings. This inheritance of giving to someone else, what she has given to me. I hear her voice. I am surrounded by her pictures. I am lifted up in her unconditional love. I share her unconditional, universal love and she is forever alive.

Even in the coldest winter, I know summer is coming.

"In the midst of winter, I discovered that there was within me an invincible summer."

- Albert Camus

There are moments of joy, like being embraced by a favorite piece of music, or being lifted up in prayer, or a breathtaking sunrise, or the smell of an exquisite rose. There is the knowing that somehow, through the grace of God, I will experience happiness again.

Even in the pain of our wintery emotions, summer always comes. Daylight has its extended hours, the warmth of the sun on our shoulders opens us up, and even the rain smells good.

Life is calling us. Continue, move forward, there is still so much love for you to experience.

Even in the coldest winter, I know summer is coming.

Purpose

Whole, healthy human beings are committed to a sense of purpose outside themselves. They are devoted and passionate about something that calls to them. They are working on something they love, something that brings them great joy and satisfaction.

In the past few years, you may have felt disillusioned, brokenhearted, and angry. It is important to remember, you are not alone. We have all been challenged in some way. Two years ago as I entered open-heart surgery and I wondered if I would return to my loved ones. Three months ago, as I stood weeping uncontrollably by my daughter's bedside in ICU, watching her take her last breaths, I wondered what I would do without her.

When I have been challenged, fallen, and feel like I will never rise again, a glimmer of light guides me to ask "How can my experience help someone else? How can I take my grief and learning and make this world a bit better for others?" I have found that hopelessness lifts when I think of someone else. I renew my sense of purpose. I recommit to my mission.

I have always found that when I seek to help others, I help myself. The stress we are feeling and the grief that drops us to our knees can be a beacon of our strength and resilience.

Our desire to help, fueled by our sense of purpose, brings us to empathy. We feel with another, and we are not alone. That, in itself, is healing. Putting our empathy into action is compassion.

Our challenges are not unique to us. We are not the only one. We have not been singled out by the universe. We all have pain, stress, grief, and broken hearts. We are all part of a greater whole. One in a universe of fellow humans. Let that unity envelop and warm you.

Let us help each other to survive and thrive. Share your sense of purpose. Share your gifts in service to others and your healing will begin.

Seeds

We begin life as a single cell, a seed. Heart cells become hearts and brain cells become brains. Tomato seeds become tomatoes and apple seeds become apples.

We begin as a seed of loving consciousness. We have infinite variety in our size, color, interests, and talents. We all came from the same infinite loving consciousness.

Throughout our life, we can continue to be that loving consciousness. We can be kind, grateful, and understanding. We can be caring, empathetic, and compassionate. We can see the unity in our diversity.

When we accept that we all came from the same infinite loving consciousness, with our beautiful diversity of colors, shapes, and skills, we become one with the unconditional loving presence.

Let us be kind, caring, and loving humans.

Faith

Love is always my goal. I have come to learn that faith is one of the key components in reaching the goal of love.

In grieving the passing of our daughter Ashley, my wife Sandra and I often turn to each other and ask "What do people do without faith?"

Faith is how I keep my mind and heart open. For me, faith is not some dogma, prescription, or mutual agreement on right and wrong. Faith is whole and complete in and of itself. For me, faith is a bit of heaven right now. In my faith, I speak to Ashley. I listen to her continuing message of unconditional love. In my faith, I strive to be a person she would admire.

My faith helps me stay positive and productive. My faith keeps me from negativity and resentment. My faith keeps me writing, teaching, speaking, and serving. Faith helps me create what I want to see in the world.

Without faith, I would be in despair and depression. Faith enhances my perspective, seeing even the loss of my beloved daughter as part of the path to unconditional love.

We must share our stories...

 "Whoever survives a test, whatever it may be, must tell the story. That is his duty." - Elie Wiesel

It has been my privilege to tell our special needs daughter Ashley's story for 39 years and I will continue to share her story. Ashley's passing into another life is not the end of her story. I revisit her birth, the first diagnosis of seizure disorder, and the words "severely, profoundly retarded." That was the first loss. Then multiple surgeries and multiple life-and-death struggles.

When I tell her story, I affirm her life and the lives of all special needs children and families. I share the challenges and fears and I also share the blessings and grace that emanated from her angelic nature.

In telling her story, I also continue my healing process and hope the telling of her story provides healing to others. I want to help others see the light and unconditional love of Divinity that was our daughter's life.

I hope I can ease the pain for others. I have come to learn that my tears are love. Never apologize for your tears. Each drop of salty tears is your heart pulsing "I love you."

I tell my story so we all can find connection through courage, vulnerability, authenticity, and love.

When we love, we emanate Divinity

It is important to remember that there are far more people in the world working every day for love, peace, justice, equity, equality, and respect for diversity, than those opposing them. There are people everywhere, just like you, who are being kind, empathetic, compassionate, and forgiving. We are standing in a global community of generosity and love.

"I have one life and one chance to make it count for something...my faith demands that I do whatever I can, wherever I am, whenever I can, for as long as I can with whatever I have to try to make a difference." - Jimmy Carter

I continue to devote my life to teaching compassion, acceptance, and love. I strive to build tables of welcome and abundance and tear down walls.

"Love is the greatest force in the universe." - Martin Luther King Jr.

When we love, we emanate Divinity.

Love is Life

We feel the pulse of love as we connect with strangers through a smile and hello. We feel the depth of long-lived love as we depend on those intimate few who sustain our life. The human need to love and be loved is as essential as food, water, and shelter. We build a life of support, nourishment, empathy, compassion, and love.

Then, like shattered glass or a broken bone, one of our deepest, dearest ones passes from this life. The world stops, our hearts break, and our tears of love fall like rain. Our lives will never be the same.

And then we realize love is still there. Love is not a solid object. It has no beginning or end. Love is not limited. Love is a creative energy of the universe and will never be contained.

The love we received continues to flow in our direction. The love we extended continues as I say good morning to my daughter's picture. I rest in love as I pray with her every morning, and every night.

Even in sorrow, love continues to move and grow. In bittersweet compassion, we spiritually embrace, knowing we are forever bound together. Family, life, love.

Every kindness leads to a building of trust and unity

My current learning is that we face adversity by moving directly through it. By feeling everything; the fear, anger, grief, longing, and even the physical pain. I move forward, knowing all those I love are in me. In moving forward and experiencing all of my feelings, I live more deeply.

In every day, and every moment, there is an opportunity for kindness. The picking up of trash that is not yours or the gracious greeting to someone,you do not know. We must cooperate with life and each other. We must be responsible and know that as we give, we receive.

Every kindness leads to a building of trust and unity.

God has chosen each of us to be God's emanation of unconditional love in this world. We are each in a unique situation, where we can choose to share God's love with others.

Whatever your role, whatever your task in this life, please choose to share God's unconditional love.

Tears of love...

In moments when I am overwhelmed with grief and I feel as if I am drowning in sorrow, I remember that my tears are love. My love is not a memory of a past shared experience but a powerful force which is sustained and nurtured in the present. Love transcends time and space. My daughter is in her new life and she sends me letters of hope on the tears of love.

Creating from pain and love

The place inside of us that grieves. The place inside where we feel pain and longing for our lost love. The place we suffer is reminding us of how much we care, of how much we love. 

Let us care enough to act. Let us put our love into service. Let us create. Maybe it is a meal we serve, a garden we grow, a race we run, a painting, a dance, a poem, or a song we sing. 

As we create from our pain and love, we open the door to connection and unity.