Reflections

"There comes a moment in every life when the universe presents you with an opportunity to rise to your potential.  An open door that only requires heart to walk through, seize it and hang on.  The choice is never simple.  It's never easy.  It's not supposed to be.  But those who travel this path have always looked back and realized that the test was always about the heart.  The rest is just practice." 

- Jaime Buckley

I believe we are here to be truly human.  Vulnerable, transparent, and authentic.  I pray that we all become what we were born to be, an emanation of Divine light.  I pray that everyday I have the courage to stay open and be fully in the moment.  I want to immerse myself in the fullness of this life.  When my life is ended, I want to be fully used up, nothing left.  I want all my compassion, empathy and integrity to be blessings in the lives of all those I have been privileged to serve.  It is my passion for humanity that brings me the greatest joy.  Upon deep reflection, I believe all I've ever really taught was how to be fully human.

I believe to be a teacher of value, I need to fully engage in each moment. 

As I stand in my truth, I pray that I reflect what matters
and I hope my light shines for others to find their path.

Forgiveness

"The weak can never forgive.  Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong."

- Gandhi

The process of forgiveness helps us conquer judgement of others.  We all make mistakes.  Very few of us plan to make a mistake and hurt someone.  Most of our actions are unconscious or trying to fulfill a need we perceive as important in the moment.  Upon deep reflection, I find that every mistake is really a neutral action until I take offense, until I am hurt.  Forgiveness is not required until I make a judgement.  My experience is judgement is a heavy load to carry.  In all my reading and study of forgiveness, I find it is most important to forgive the actions of others that have hurt me because forgiveness takes the burden of judgement off of me.  

"Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom."

- Hannah Arendt

"We never heal until we forgive."

- Nelson Mandela

"Forgiveness is not an occasional act; it is a permanent attitude."

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

"Forgiveness is the fragrance of the violet which still clings to the heel that crushed it."

- George Roemisch

Safe Schools

Educators must create a safe physical and emotional environment that allows our learners to explore the worlds of knowledge, compassion, understanding and empathy.  We all need an environment where we can be authentic and vulnerable.  We all need a place to breathe, relax, and appreciate.

Many of our students bring a backpack of pain and past trauma into our schools.  We can not fix their past but we can and must create safe and welcoming classrooms and schools.  We can create a community where students feel they are cared for and loved.  When we create a safe learning community children heal, they relax and they learn.

Happy Birthday Sandra

December 9th is my beautiful wife's 70th birthday.  Sandra and I have been married for 40 years and she is quite simply the finest human being I have ever met in my life.  Sandra is my role model and inspiration.  Sandra is the kind of person songs and poems are written about.  Her dedication and commitment to our special needs daughter, Ashley has kept her alive and well for 34 years.  Whenever I am, I speak about Sandra and Ashley.  Sandra is commitment, she is empathy, she is compassion, she is faith, she is unconditional love.

As I write this Sandra is comforting Ashley in Intensive Care.  Sandra has not left Ashley's bedside since we entered the hospital at 4:30am, December 3rd.  Ashley has pneumonia, she is intubated and on a ventilator.  I marvel at her strength and positivity.  She makes friends with every care giver in intensive care. No one gets away without being fully human. Sandra will love you until your walls melt. Sandra’s boundless energy brings bright light to everyone in the hospital.

Ashley continues to improve and Sandra continues to shine her light on Ashley, our family and everyone in her world. Sandra reminds me every day that the greatest among us are not the brilliant, not the most innovative or the wealthiest or most creative. The brightest lights in humanity are the kindest. Sandra shines her light through a beacon of kindness.

Forgiveness

The seasons come and go.  Spring brings us flowers breaking through the thawing ground.  Summer warms all life.  Even the days too hot for comfort serve to grow living things. 

 Fall invites decline and letting go.  Even though we want to hold on, the laws of nature loosen our grasp.  Winter asks us to rest.

When we have awakened to the truth that we are all one in love

I have lived long enough to see

hate fade from the eyes of men and women as they are forgiven

I have lived long enough to see

men and women of difference holding hands in similarity

I have lived long enough to hear

the one song that we all sing as we recognize our unity in the Divine

I have lived long enough to experience

men and women so committed to love they would choose to die before bing unkind

I have lived long enough to see

hatred fade from the eyes of men and women when they are aware 

that they cannot hurt another without also hurting themselves

Our birthright gifts...

I continue to learn that deep within us is a beautiful well of compassion and empathy.  Our everyday acts of kindness and generosity are ripples of the deeper underground well of shared humanity and love.  I believe much of humanity is waiting for someone to give them permission to reveal the depth of their love.

This is our time.  We are called to increase compassion and empathy in our world.  "Survival of the fittest is not the only law in nature." - Mark Nepo.  Darwin's theory of evolution tells us we must adapt to survive.  Flexibility, adaptability: the heart and soul of being human.  Now we are being called to reveal our deepest humanity.

We must be willing to be fully human.  We must be willing to be authentic, transparent, vulnerable, compassionate, and empathetic.

"Nothing anyone else can do to us is worse than what we do to ourselves by not being who we are, by not remembering our birthright gifts and using them in service of the community." - Parker Palmer

This is the deep miracle of humanity.  We must be willing to use our birthright gifts to serve the world.  Our birthright gifts are love, kindness, generosity, courage, compassion and empathy.

"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience.  

We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Teilhard de Chardin

Educational Leadership

"What, if anything, about the way people are leading today needs to change in order for leaders to be successful in a complex, rapidly changing environment where we're faced with seemingly intractable challenges and an insatiable demand for innovation?" - Dr. Brene Brown

I have the privilege to work with outstanding educational leaders throughout the United States.  As I interact with Superintendents, Principals and teacher leaders, I find that many of them have the skills needed to deal with today's challenges.  One dear friend, a Principal whom I admire greatly, refers to herself as the "lead learner" in her school.  What a wonderful awareness.  We are all lifetime learners.  Either we are busy learning or we are busy dying.  The willingness to learn, grow and be vulnerable including being able to admit "I don't know the answer, but let's work together to find it."

I find that the educational leaders I love working with are courageous.  They are deeply committed to the growth and well-being of everyone for whom they care for and lead. "Every single employee is someone's son or someone's daughter.  Like a parent, a leader of a company is responsible for their precious lives." - Bob Chapman

I also find that courage being modeled when educational leaders tell their story.  When we tell our story, we empower others to do the same.  We realize we are not the only one.  We realize we are not alone.  We are connected by our common humanity.

I feel that educational leaders have the courage and skill to give specific, descriptive, observable feedback to those they lead.  This feedback offers opportunity for growth and development.

Educational leaders also speak their truth.  When new agendas and mandates with short time lines erupt, they speak to the fears and challenges that they and their staff feel.

Educational leaders model trust.  They work at building relationships and building community.  They listen to different perspectives.  They seek to understand and work towards empathy.  "Trust profoundly impacts performance by providing the foundation for effective teamwork and intrinsic motivation." - Dr. Paul Zak

Educational leaders acknowledge, affirm and celebrate the hard work of the educators who devote their lives to children.

Educational leaders show value and appreciation to everyone on their staff.  As one dear Superintendent friend once said "We love our staff and students when we hold them accountable."

Educational leaders welcome diversity.  They celebrate inclusion.  They understand having hard conversations about differences enriches our community and builds everyone's trust.

When something goes wrong, educational leaders take responsibility and they make every effort to make it right. 

As I continue to assess myself on a daily basis and continue to learn from all the educational leaders I am blessed to work with, I find that I need to continue to find the courage to be vulnerable and speak my truth and listen to your truth.  I need to remain true to my core values of love and commitment.  I need to continue to trust and forgive when trust is broken and trust again.

I need to rise up again and again and again.

The time is now!

Everything depends on the choices we make now.

Now is the hour.

Now is the time.

We need to take responsibility

We need to stand up

We need to answer these essential questions

Are you living a life that serves others?

Are you doing things that bring health and healing to the world?

Are your relationships healthy?

Are you growing?

It is time to speak your truth

It is time to create community

It is time to listen

It is time to understand

Be Kind

Do not look to the world for leadership

Look inside yourself

You are the leader!

Stand up

Speak your truth

The time is now!

- Adapted from a Hopi Elder

Connection and Community are essential to our well being

In the past 5 years I am finding more adult students in our masters courses and Professional Development programs are genuinely excited to be invited into an authentic community building experience.

Psychology and physiology tell us we need each other to be healthy and thrive.  We need true community for health and happiness.  We gather to celebrate our shared humanity and we gather to heal our shared wounds. 

Community and connection promote health while "isolation fosters stress, disease and death.  Social isolation is as dangerous as smoking, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity and lack of exercise." - James House, University of Michigan

Connection and Community are essential to our well being.

Fear and Loving

I am aware there are two distinctly different sides of my being.  There is the fearful side that moves away from what I do not understand and there is the loving and welcoming side that invites what I do not understand to come closer so I can learn and grow.

The fearful part of me looks for safety, security, consistency, and normality.  The open and loving part of me preaches trust, kindness, compassion and empathy.  The fearful part of me needs constraints and walls.  The loving part of me needs connections and relationships. 

I have had moments when my fear turns to anger.  In this anger fueled fear, I want to protect, run and hide, and sometimes fight.  I am grateful that my life has been filled with more moments of welcoming, trust, compassion, wonderful new learning, teamwork and community building.  This interdependence is creative, innovative and forgiving.  I pray to "be the change you want to see in the world." - Gandhi

I pray for the courage to trust when I am afraid.

I pray for the ability to listen when I don't understand.

I pray for the willingness to connect when I feel alone.

I pray for the building of bridges when I am surrounded by walls.

What really matters?

"What we do when our arm is raised, about to strike or soothe, will determine the next hundred years." - Mark Nepo

"We are one gesture away from being the cruelty that we have suffered or one kindness from helping each other heal." - Mark Nepo

We need to ask ourselves, what really matters?  We need to ask each other, what is essential?  We then must lovingly challenge each other to live the answers.  We must lean towards each other.  As we lean into each other, we create a support system that nurtures our common core beliefs.  The common core beliefs of life and community have always held human kind together.  Humanity always comes together in tragedy.  Great loss brings great love.

We are more alike than we are different.  "We are hardwired for connection." - Brene Brown.  Life teaches us to contribute to the good of the whole.  In isolation, we die.  In unity, we live.

In our human DNA there is empathy, compassion, collaboration and respect.  These characteristics are essential to our humanity.

As we repair the world, we repair ourselves

As we repair our personal worlds, we repair our wounded world

Together we heal

Cutting edge physics teaches us that there is no, single privileged point of view.  No single perspective holds the entire truth.  When we hold fast to a single point of view, we are damaging and often disrespectful.  Life is a unified whole.  We can only come to truth through relationship, connection and the willingness to understand other points of view.  

Einstein's theory of relativity and the core of all spiritual beliefs teaches that we are more together than alone.  We need to start to live the truth of our connection.  We need to recover the desire to build community.  We need to heal!  We must gather together in community to heal our social and emotional wounds.  

Moments

"The best portion of a good man's life, his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and love." - William Wordsworth

Moments.  Our life and all that is meaningful is made up of moments.  Moments of saying hello or good morning to strangers passing on the street.  A smile to someone who looks troubled.  A breath of fresh air on a cool day.  Sharing a laugh with an acquaintance.  Holding your loved ones hand in a grip that feels exquisitely familiar.  Smelling your loved ones hair and remembering.  All our human moments.  These are the moments I will remember when it is time to leave this life.  

Let us all make more moments.  Before we engage in business, let's ask about family and health.  Let's give compliments to those who serve us every day.  Take nothing or no one for granted.

Be aware of all the moments that have touched your life.  Our values and core beliefs help us create new moments.  Let us all create new moments full of meaning and joy.

We can only find love and acceptance in each other

Everyone in this world is looking for love and acceptance.  Everyone is doing the best they can with what they know.  Everyone is stumbling through life with as much courage and integrity as they possibly can.

I continue to learn that our attitude towards our fellow humans can not be to judge or condemn.  No matter how much they have hurt me, no matter how painful their mistake, I need to remember, if they knew better, they would have done better.

"Father forgive them for they know not what they do." - Jesus Christ

Most of my judgements or condemnations are assumptions.  Whenever I am emotional and judgmental, I feel myself becoming physically and emotionally unhealthy.  We can not hold someone down in our hearts and minds without going down with them. 

I find that after a period of judgement, I must discipline myself to remember the good.  I must remember when I was forgiven and the grace I felt after receiving someone's open hearted forgiveness.  Someone was willing to accept my faults and see the best version of me.  I need to extend the same gift. 

We can only find love and acceptance in each other.  

We are all doing the best we can with what we know.

In each individual is the seed of Divinity.