Tenderness

In the community of loss, tenderness is the constant state of being. We who have experienced the loss of a loved one, live in vulnerability. So many reminders; the tilt of the head, the beginning of a smile, the softness of a touch, the depth of eye contact. These are secret memories that we tenderly walk with every day. These are treasured gifts we share with our loved one who is in a new life.

These gifts can never be taken away.

I honor everyone who is in the community of loss and love.

Tenderness by Cheri Blum

Faith

God is everywhere. God is past, present, and future. God is always flowing into our hearts. God is here now- are we here with God or are we disconnected?

I found God is with me in my joy and in my sorrow. God is my constant companion. I speak with God and our angel daughter Ashley, often throughout the day. I feel peace, I feel love, I feel a depth of caring. 

My faith has walked me through my darkest moments. When I could find no light, my faith provided a lamp to light my way back to love. 

When I could not see a path forward, faith took me by the hand and guided me to new dreams and visions. 

When I was blind and could not understand, faith turned on the light of perspective and compassion and I was welcomed home. 

There is great unity in life

I find something of myself and everyone I meet. Some of the qualities I find are warm and loving. Some of the qualities I would rather not recognize. I believe something passes between each of us and we share an invisible human bond. 

Namaste

I bow to the God in you that is the God in me. Let us begin a search for the God in everyone. 

As we acknowledge the unconditional love in ourselves, let us also acknowledge the unconditional love in everyone we meet. There is a great unity in life. 

Let us each clean our own front door with kindness, empathy, and compassion. 

Let us pray

Please help all of us put aside our prejudice and fear of different perspectives and beliefs. Help us all to see the inherent unity in all humanity. Allow us to join in constructive dialogue and listen, listen, and listen some more. Let us see a perspective as large as the beautiful blue marble we all live on. Help us all to work for the unified solution of peace and love. Help us see each other, hear each other, and know each other.

Let us help each other.

Love is the only sane and satisfactory response to the challenges of life.

Life is precious.

Choose gratitude.

I am all that you taught me to be

When I peek into your bedroom, I can feel your presence. Your unconditional love permeates every teddy bear and angel. I can almost see you under the pink quilt.

I love to talk with you just as I did before you transitioned into your new life. I still can hear you, even though you did not speak. Every moment in your presence is profound and meaningful. I am simultaneously filled with love and sorrow. Bittersweet.

I stand here open-hearted, transparent, vulnerable, fragile, and resilient. I am all that you taught me to be, and I share your life and love.

A year

Your wheelchair has been empty for a year. There is no music coming from your room. I can no longer get lost in your deep brown eyes. I am no longer tickled by your perfect little nose. 

The atmosphere of unconditional love which emanated from you is still a living presence. Wherever I step there is peace. 

You are in another world where there is no pain and there are no seizures. You are part of limitless joy. 

The feeling of you pervades every day, every thought, every action. 

I am blessed. 

Bittersweet. 

Blessed. 

Be whole

With all my love, I urge you to be whole. Be authentic, transparent, and real. Own your power and never force yourself on anyone or anything. We have this one life, invest completely in this life. Do not hold back, do not hesitate. You are beautiful just the way you are. 

Heal and be whole. Focus on your healing not being broken. Be brave, be courageous, let your soul speak. It knows only truth. 

"Love people out loud."

"Love people out loud. Even if you don't think it needs to be said. Tell them. Often."
- Nanea Hoffman

We are being looked after and loved unconditionally every moment of every day.

Let those you love know how much you love and appreciate them. Let them know that their love has been a ray of light in your life.

Beauty

"The great lesson is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that is to be found in one's daily life, in one's neighbors, friends, and family, in one's backyard." - Abraham Maslow

Life is so full of beauty and magic. The changing seasons, the stars at night, the warmth of the Sun, and the glow of the moon. Nature is a full blown mystical explosion of endless possibilities.

I am married to Sandra, the most curious person I have ever met. She wants to know everything. Why this works? What makes that happen? Who is that and what else did I see them in?

She sees beauty everywhere. Life is a gift and Sandra is the greatest miracle in my life.

I am constantly grateful.

Presence

We live in the lives of all those whose lives we have touched. I have often felt the presence of those I have loved and those who have loved me. I have also felt the presence of of the many who have shared classes and speeches with me. 

I feel my daughter’s presence with me everyday. I also feel the presence of authors, teachers, artists, and mentors I have never met. 

We experience a spiritual communion with friends and colleagues not in our immediate presence. When I see my old friends after long periods of time, it is as if no time has passed. We are always with each other in spirit. 

The spirit has no walls, no obstacles. There is no time, space, or physicality. 

So, my dear friends close your eyes, breathe deeply, and be together with the ones you love. 

Choose to be with your communion of saints. 

Vulnerability and Authenticity

Vulnerability and authenticity opens the door to our whole self. Our courage will invite us to be fully human. When we make the courageous choice to be fully human, we glimpse our spiritual potential. 

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” - Emerson

Our vulnerability, authenticity, and courage will assist us in our need to connect. To fully connect, we must be in the present moment. Detach from technology, give yourself a mini technology vacation. Feel the joy of living life untethered. Breathe fresh air, feel the sun on your shoulders, view the great and endless art of nature, person to person, with your fellow human beings. 

Let your life be your message. Be open, authentic, vulnerable, and courageous. 

Beginning the school year

Social Emotional Learning prioritizes the needs of the whole child, both curriculum and connection. The human being needs relationships to survive and thrive. How can the needs of safety, value, respect, and support be debated?

Our work in SEL values the neuroscience which teaches us that integrity, empathy, responsibility, and compassion are essential to be a healthy human being and community. 

The teacher student relationship has emphasized the dual task of teaching content and cultivating character since the beginning of human development. 

Social Emotional Learning embraces academic achievement as a component of social and emotional development. In integrating Social Emotional Learning with academic achievement we focus on building knowledgeable and responsible citizens. 

Families join with educators in knowing our children need to feel safe, values, and connected. Families want their children to be interested and engaged in their education. Social Emotional Learning is an integral part of building a classroom and school wide community. We establish norms of physical and emotional safety. We learn how to give and receive specific, descriptive, and observable feedback and we learn how to resolve conflict and forgive. 

It is essential that social emotional learning strive for trusting relationships between students, teachers, staff, administrators, and families. Social Emotional Learning is not only what we do, it is who we are. 

We are all in the hands of unconditional love

The past three years have tested our strength and our ability to bounce back. Our experiences of uncertainty, grief, and loss have taught us much.

Our lives have been shaken to the foundation. 

From these heartbreaking experiences comes, if we are fortunate, the experience of empathy and compassion. From our suffering, we feel a new wonder at the beauty of the world. 

We are all a part of this beautiful world and nothing is in our control. We can only respond with love and understanding. Knowing we are in the hands of unconditional love. 

Pure Love

Everything is different now that Ashley is gone. I look in her room every day, multiple times a day. I see the angels, I see the pinks and pastels, I see her pictures and find some comfort. I have lost unconditional love. 

I still talk to her as I visit all the places she loved. The gardens, the beach, the swamp, the museum. In each of these environments, there is something missing. Or is it? Just because I can’t see her doesn’t mean that she’s not here. I know she hears me. I often get subtle messages from her spirit.

She is part of the never ending universe. She is moonbeams, she is starlight, she is the gentle us, breeze, and she is even the downpour.

She is all life.

She is pure love.

Your gifts

71 years and the passing of unconditional love have taught me...the car doesn't matter, the degrees don't matter, the bank account doesn't matter, the applause doesn't matter.

What matters is faith, love, kindness, authenticity, vulnerability, empathy, compassion, and sharing your gifts.

Your gifts will not be found on your phone, your computer, your text messages, and never in your "likes." Your gifts are deep within you, in the very cells of your body, actually in your DNA.

You are a miracle. Cherish yourself and only surround yourself with people who really know who you are and cherish you as well.