Dignity and Destiny

The past 4 months I have been reflecting on President Lyndon Johnson's speech to Congress in 1965 as beautifully written in "Leadership in Turbulent Times" by Doris Kearns Goodwin. 

"I speak tonight for the dignity of man and the destiny of democracy.  At times history and fate meet at a single time in a single place to shape a turning point in man's unending search for freedom.  So it was at Lexington and Concord.  So it was a century ago at Appomattox.  So it was last week in Selma, Alabama."  He goes on to say "There is no negro problem.  There is no southern problem.  There is only an American problem."  So it is today with our current disrespect and hatred of anyone we perceive as different then us.  "There is only the issue of human rights.  The cause must be our cause...it is all of us who must overcome the crippling legacy of bigotry and injustice."  Johnson when on to reflect on his time as a young teacher gaining a deep sense of purpose in working and serving poor Mexican American children.  "Somehow you never forget what poverty and hatred can do when you see its scars on the hopeful face of a young child."

Close to the end of this life Johnson spoke at the LBJ Library.  "The essence of government" is in ensuring "the dignity and innate integrity of life for every individual...regardless of color, creed, ancestry, sex or age.  Until we address unequal history, we cannot overcome unequal opportunity."

Johnson speaking in the 1960's still rings true and needed now.  I am saddened that, as a nation,

we still do not learn from the past.  I counter my sadness with renewed responsibility to do my part.  I will continue to educate, care, be compassionate, and empathetic.  I will continue to be human.  I will continue to be American.

Our life is a gift

Our life is a gift. I am grateful everyday that I get to live this beautiful life. I have learned that to retain my gift of life, I need to give it away. I need to give my life in service to the world. We can all make a gift of our lives when we are kind with all those we interact. I give the gift of life when I am understanding, compassionate, empathetic, forgiving, and generous. We all benefit when we share these life affirming gifts. Giving of ourselves and our humanity is the best gift we can give.

You are a miracle

My friends and loved ones, you are all miracles unfolding.  You are each full of courage and a passion for life.  You all have greatness inside.  The spark of Divinity, the fire of unconditional love.  Limitless potential and the light of dreams to be fulfilled reside in your being.  You are songs, poems, inventions, dance, crafts, and engineering.  Possibilities, purpose, and perspective are all parts of the miracle of your humanity.

Mistakes

It is an essential part of our humanity to make mistakes.  I fall prey to arrogance in 8th grade and I discover humility and forgiveness.  I suffer a severe injury in High School football and I discover poetry and public speaking.  Still, unsure of my emerging artist I sustain another football injury in college and I discover education and psychology.  I have evolved in spite of myself.  I have been broken many times and my mistakes have mysteriously revealed new skills. 

We all grow from the light that shines through the cracks in our mistakes.  

"If not now, when? If not you, who?"

This ancient truth has been expressed by many different thinkers.  Now, 3 months into recovery from spinal injury and continuing daily physical therapy, there is a truth that burns inside of me.  This truth challenges me.  It will not let me rest.  It demands I offer my best self in all interactions.  The truth reveals itself with every sharp lightning bolt of pain that travels down my leg from my spine. 

The truth is this, "do not wait for tomorrow."  Act now, speak now, live now, love now.  Tomorrow is not guaranteed.  I expect to live a long time.  I experience daily painful reminders that today, now, is all I have.  

This beautiful life is not a dress rehearsal.  This is the only life we get.  No more putting off truth, joy, love, gratitude, forgiveness.  "Drop everything and follow me." - Jesus

Daring to be different

"We must dare to be different, to point to ideals other than those of this world, testifying to the beauty of generosity, service, purity, perseverance, forgiveness, fidelity to our personal vocation, prayer, the pursuit of justice and the common good, love for the poor and social friendship."

- Pope Francis, 2019

I read this on June 2, 2019 and I was thrilled and challenged.  Daring to be different and living up to ideals that are not of this world has always been my calling.  Generosity and service go hand in hand in my life.  I have always enjoyed giving my expertise and materials in service to others, especially students and schools.  I enjoy finding ways to provide my services at a reduced rate or at no cost.

I live with purity in the form of our special needs daughter, Ashley.  She is pure in heart, mind and body.  Perseverance has always been a trait that I most admire.  I will hire perseverance over great intellect or talent every time.  I believe true success can only be found in perseverance.

Forgiveness is an ongoing process in my life.  Everyday I learn, everyday I have an opportunity to forgive.  I pray to be more forgiving.  Social justice and the good for all, especially those in need, is the mission of our work.  It has been the mission of my life.

Forgiveness

 The process of forgiveness means that I will no longer feed anger and resentment for past wrongs that I perceive were committed against me.

I forgive and I still remember the lessons. I need to forgive and I need to remember so my part is past hurts does not continue.

For my health and well-being, I need to make peace with the past. When I forgive, I feel a weight lifted from my shoulders and my spirit elevates.

Psychoneuroimmunology teaches that our thoughts influence the cells in our body. The quality of our thoughts affects our entire organism.

Empathy plays a significant role in forgiveness. If we can  allow ourselves to see the world through the eyes of our offender, see and understand his life situation, suffering and intentions, it will help in the process of forgiveness.

We need to be less invested in judgment and more invested and understanding. Forgiveness helps us transform. Letting go of past hurts allows our kindness to grow.

Forgiveness and kindness is not something we do, it is something we are. 

Do no harm

The hippocratic oath that Doctors agree to is "Do no harm."  Although this sounds passive, doing no harm is quite active.  Doing no harm involves self-awareness, self control, and kindness.

Doing no harm requires strenght of character.  We must choose to not participate in hurting anyone.

"Be kind toward anyone you meet, because they are engaged in a big battle." - Philo of Alexandria

Harmlessness and kindness require that we reflect on our thoughts as well as our actions.  Are our thoughts hostile to ourselves or others?  Are we surrendering to anger and negativity?  If we surrender to anger and negativity, we harm ourselves physically and phychologically.  Our inner condition impacts relationships.  Harmlessness also helps us grow spirtually.  It is impossible to grow our consciousness while being negative and judgemental.

Our world and each of us is in need of collaboration, kindness, respect and nonviolence.  

Compassion

Be kind; everyone you meet is struggling with something. We don’t know someone until we know them. Kindness and compassion are always a wise choice.

“Genuine compassion must have both wisdom and loving compassion. That is to say, one must understand the nature of the suffering from which we wish to free others (this is wisdom), and one must experience deep intimacy and empathy with other sentient beings (this is loving kindness).” - Barbara O’Brien

Empathy

Our nation is in need of re-focus on cooperation, social responsibility, compassion and empathy. We need to return to what unites us.  We need to celebrate our strengths through diversity. We need to remember the value and worth of every single human being. Developing empathy is our challenge. What is our common good?

“Many animals survive not by eliminating each other or keeping everything for themselves, but by cooperation and sharing.”  Franz De Wall

Hopefully we are evolving from a time when only the intellectual is celebrated and emotions are dismissed as “touchy-feely.” We need to remember “we are hardwired or connection”, Breńe Brown. We are desperate to care about each other. As mammals we survive by bonding. When we are deprived of physical and emotional caring, we die. Time with family, friends and loved ones brings us health and happiness. In times of real tragedy (9/11) we forget what divides us.

We can be a fighting group of animals.  A charismatic leader’s ability to create outside threats, stoke our fear and pit us against each other is both historically and currently, a reality. We have potential for violence and hatred. We also have great potential for cooperation, mutual caring and compassion. Neuroscience tells us that we are programmed to be empathetic. It is an automatic response. Only psychopaths are immune to the empathy response. The feeling of attachment is part of our limbic system, the feeling brain. The feeling brain connects us to family, friends and caring for others. 

To be empathetic, we need to understand the impact of our behavior on others.  “Empathy is part of our evolution.“ Dewall. We build our empathy by getting to know people, by getting closer to other’s lives and stories, by becoming familiar with their background and history. We all must take action by supporting the dignity of every human being.

You can do hard things

Our journey through life is renewed every day.  We all begin anew.  We are all immigrants traveling to a new land of experience every day.

My journey has me in a new land of significant spinal pain, daily therapy and medical intervention.  I dance with fear on a regular basis.  I am aware that fear minimizes my creativity and positive action.  I now must move beyond fear.  I am committed to move into hope and action. 

I can do hard things.  

I have been courageous in the past and I will be courageous again.  I will take action.  When we avoid hardship, we lose an opportunity to grow strength and be resilient.  I am aware that I do not seek out hardship however, I am grateful for what I have learned.  I have learned to be kind to myself and others. I have learned to be compassionate and empathic.  I have learned to be understanding.  I am currently learning to be patient with myself and others.

I can do hard things.

I am also trying to take action through the pain and hardship.  I can do what I can do.  If I can not sit, I can lie down and stretch.  If I can not walk, I can swim.  If I cannot stand in one place, I can move slowly.  I must take action.  I can read, I can write, I can spell, I can listen, I can feel and I can think.  I can be a resource for others.  I can share my life experiences.  I can help others in any way possible.  When my physical skills are limited, I can take action with my emotional, mental, soul, and spiritual skills.

I can do hard things and you can do hard things.

Believe

"It is not a matter of thinking a great deal but of loving a great deal, 

so do whatever arouses you most to love." - St. Terea of Avila

I believe in a presence, a Higher Power, an unconditional loving God.  I believe this unconditional loving presence knows me and loves me, just the way I am.  I can love when I am in the light and I am loved when I am in the shadow.

We are all worthy of this Divine love.

"Isn't it amazing that we are all made in God's image, and yet there is so much diversity among his people." - Archbishop Desmond Tutu

Affirmation

"It's the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief.  And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen." - Muhammad Ali

In some mysterious way which we are not aware of, through some process which does not explicitly reveal itself, life enters us and with this life comes an irresistible impulse to create.

We all have gifts and talents that are unique to each of us.  Affirmation, affirming our life.  

Affirming our gifts and talents takes deliberate practice.

Sincerity...

"Given Sincerity, there will be enlightenment." 

The Doctrine of the Mean - Ancient Chinese text

As I age, I continue to value sincerity.  Upon frequent assessment, I think it is one of my strengths.  I am not the smartest, certainly not the most handsome and not the most talented, but at my best, I speak from my heart.  I am sincere.

Sincerity asks us to be fully present.  Sincerity comes from the latin sin cere.  Sin cere means "without wax."

"During the Italian Renaissance, sculptors were as plentiful as plumbers, and markets selling marble and other stones were as prevalent as hardware stores.  Frequently, stone sellers would fill the cracks in flawed stones with wax and try to sell them as flawless.  Thus, an honest stone seller became known as someone who was sincere- one who showed his stone without wax, cracks and all.  

A sincere person, then, came to mean someone who is honest and open enough not to hide their flaws.  This honest stance becomes even more important when we consider, as the priest and therapist John Malecki says, that "without vulnerability, there can be no transformation." - Mark Nepo

In not hiding our cracks, we allow the light to shine through the cracks.  I believe sincerity is a stepping stone on the path to enlightenment.

"Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There is a crack, a crack in everything

That's how the light gets in"

- Leonard Cohen

For Easter Sunday

Ashley has lived longer and more vibrantly than anyone has expected.  Her life is a miracle.

She has come, in her wheelchair, to a few of my speeches and workshops.  Over the course of her 35 years I have shared her story everywhere I have spoken across the continent.  Her presence, her story and her life has touched the hearts of tens of thousands.

Ashley emanates Divine love.  She is pure in her body, mind and spirit.  She has no ego.  Her challenges are obvious.  No physical movement, no vocal ability, no ability to eat, drink or swallow.  her one ability is love, unconditional love.

We, her immediate family, have grown familiar with her routines, sleep, wake, medication, feedings, breathing treatments, percussion, transfer to wheelchair, repeat, repeat repeat for 35 years.  Ashley is open and loving to all treatment.  She is open and loving to all life.  Her deep brown eyes shine with the light of her soul.  Being in her presence is a great blessing. 

In Ashley's presence, I feel the unconditional love of Divinity.  Her warmth radiates through the room.

I have learned to never take a moment of life for granted.  It is a privilege to be in her presence.  I have learned to never hold anything back.  I tell her with each interaction, I love her and how grateful I am to still be with her these past 35 years.

Every life is a blessing.  

Let those we love know that we love them.  

Take nothing and no one for granted.