Thom Stecher and Associates is dedicated to assisting schools, educators and students in achieving their highest level of potential. We strive to foster open relationships where the sharing of ideas, philosophy, knowledge, beliefs, values and passion is channeled into creating constructive solutions. We aim to build healthy communities where we grow as instruments for positive change.
In moments when I am overwhelmed with grief and I feel as if I am drowning in sorrow, I remember that my tears are love. My love is not a memory of a past shared experience but a powerful force which is sustained and nurtured in the present. Love transcends time and space. My daughter is in her new life and she sends me letters of hope on the tears of love.
The place inside of us that grieves. The place inside where we feel pain and longing for our lost love. The place we suffer is reminding us of how much we care, of how much we love.
Let us care enough to act. Let us put our love into service. Let us create. Maybe it is a meal we serve, a garden we grow, a race we run, a painting, a dance, a poem, or a song we sing.
As we create from our pain and love, we open the door to connection and unity.
"Heaven is within us and inside every moment." - Mark Nepo
We touch the sacred peace of unity when we are authentic and vulnerable. We must stand fast with courage when we open to the depths of unconditional love and bittersweet heartache.
We must renew our commitment to being awake and alive. We must serve the good with gratitude and forgiveness. We humbly acknowledge the great gift of life. We seek the joy of unity.
We become connected when we care for each other. We endure the challenges of life by being fully human. It is kindness and compassion that will help us evolve. We face adversity with learned perseverance and resiliency. We move forward learning to live more deeply. We know in the depths of our souls that we can outlast the storm.
We are being asked to cooperate with life. Be kind, be respectful, be responsible, to everyone.
Mother Teresa reminds us that courage is found "by doing small things with love".
"I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water on in thin air but to walk on earth." Thich Nhat Hanh
I have been blessed with so many miracles. I am married to a Saint. Sandra, my wife of 44 years has cared for our special needs daughter, Ashley for 39 years. Ashley need constant care 24/7 and Sandra gave her everything with great love and joy.
Ashley is and always will be our Angel. A true embodiment of unconditional love.
Every day I interact with the miracles of educators helping, caring, teaching, and loving children.
Our greatest hope for the future is all the love that educators bring to the lives of our children.
We have always been here and will always be here. It is what we do with today that is essential. Today is the only thing in our control. This moment is essential.
I am continuing to learn that as our physical body ends, our soul still leaves a wave of positivity and love. The legacy of our empathy and compassion ripples through the universe forever. Every action, every word, and every thought we have makes a difference to someone. Our soul's journey continues past the physical life. With each breath we take, let us make our lives a tribute to unconditional love.
Give yourself permission to bring the gifts of your best self to life now. Who you are and what you do matters.
When you know the fragility of this human body, your perspective on life narrows to what is essential.
Two years ago, I had a six-hour open-heart surgery. It was very important to me to let family and friends know how much I loved them.
Four weeks ago, I experienced the excruciating pain of losing our beloved 39-year-old daughter. As Sandra and our two sons and I stood by Ashley's bedside in ICU for the last three days of her life, my perspective on life deepened to what matters, to the sacred, to the essential.
There were no thoughts of work, ambition, success, or what others thought of me. The final three days with Ashley were full of unconditional love, deep and powerful meaning, and knowing that she was with God.
If you are at a place in your life where you think about legacy, give thanks that you are alive and those you treasure are alive. Take nothing for granted, if you love someone, let them know. Now! And again, and again, and again.
Every laugh we share, every touch, and every tear we shed, is a reminder that life is sacred. From our greatest loss can rise our soul embracing a new life.
My life has been spent in education and mental health services. We're all healers and as we heal others, we heal ourselves.
We can not escape our pain. I do not even try. My tears flow with love. I carry my beloved daughter with me and hold her close to my heart. Acceptance moves me forward.
Every step forward is an act of love. Maybe we love our pets and warm them with our unconditional love. Maybe we are teachers, counselors, nurses, and therapists. Maybe we disconnect from technology and look into the eyes of the person across from us and love them.
I have watched as my dear wife Sandra has made a gift of her life. Everything she has done for our special needs daughter, and all of us who are blessed to be in her presence, is full of love and selfless service.
Sandra models the heart of God. Unconditional love is a form of worship and a source of joy. Let us seek to uplift everyone we meet.
As we uplift others we are uplifted in the process. Compassion is self-fulfilling because in truth, as we give to another, we give to ourselves. Every kindness, every smile, every act of love benefits ourselves and the whole world.
In our challenging times, the arms of unconditional Divine love embrace us.
The Divine is with us always. Unconditional love is an essential aspect of our nature. We are all immersed in the beauty of life.
Love is in the breath you take, in the hands you hold, in the thoughts you think, and in the sun that warms your face.
You are never excluded from love.
Now a week after Ashley's passing from this earthly life, I find myself affirming her life, hearing her calling me to continue, and seeing her everywhere. Even in grief, she comforts me and brings meaning to my life.
Nothing is normal. It never was for us and it never will be. Ashley is now free from pain. There are no more seizures. She is at peace. And I feel her sending peace and unconditional love to all of us.
I have asked my family to surround me with her pictures. I need to see her ageless, angelic face, especially her perfect little nose.
I weep freely reminding myself and Sandra that every tear is love.
I look forward to continuing to share her story of unconditional love.
It is in our DNA to embrace all life.
Our little lives are a part of humanity and it is a distinct privilege to be a part of your family.
There is joy in solidarity.
It is good to be a caring human being.
"Forgiveness and compassion are linked. How do we hold people accountable for wrong doing and yet at the same time remain in touch with their humanity enough to believe in their capacity to be transformed?" - Bell Hooks
Empathy is feeling with another person. Compassion takes the next step in human evolution and acts on that feeling of unity consciousness. Compassion is our way of being in the world.
Compassion moves to create truth and love. Compassion moves us to response-ability and asks us to experience different truth.
Our compassion originates in unconditional love for self and others. We know we are all connected.
Compassion seeks the highest good for all.
The best way to have a friend is to be a friend.
Being in a friendship is one of the most essential human relationships. The connection, bonding, and intimacy is a sharing of self at a level that invites us into deep learning. Healthy friendships help us become the best possible versions of ourselves.
My dearest friends encourage my authenticity, vulnerability, and courage. They also forgive me when I make mistakes and fall flat on my face. I also forgive them when they stumble in the human journey.
I continue to learn how to create healthy boundaries through my friendships. We teach people how to treat us by making it clear what we will accept and not accept. Through the development of truth and trust we make clear our agreements on how we will love and support each other.
The path you are on is unique to you. No one else will walk your path. We are each on a different path with different skills and gifts. Let go of the desire to gain approval from other people. You are unique in all the world. There is just one you.
Shine brightly. Others will warm themselves by your light and together you can share your journey.
Be at peace. Practice being authentic and transparent.
Spirit is within each of us. When we are at peace with our authentic self, we replace fear with love. In this love, we find self-acceptance and share our best self with the world.
When we bring our best self into the world, we find the best in others. When we treat others as their best self, they respond from that place.
As we give, we receive.
When we are authentic and transparent, we form relationships that recognize and honor our authenticity and transparency.
We are at peace.
Life is constant change. Motion is the lotion for our body's health. Motion is change and change is renewal.
We are renewed in body, mind, and spirit and this renewal brings us deeper into the awareness of who we are.
We are wise to bring conscious thought into this change process. Let our thoughts be positive, uplifting, and generous.
Our relationships mirror back to us our core beliefs and values. Healthy relationships are mutually supportive, nurturing, loving, and beneficial. We allow ourselves to be vulnerable and trusting and come to a deeper connection. We thrive on this connection.
We are all one in spirit. We love and accept ourselves and our healthy relationships.
Other's behavior toward us is often a reflection of their relationship with themselves.
I am still, at 70 years old, learning daily about boundaries in all relationships. In healthy, supportive relationships, respect, and love helps us build trust and connection. I am learning that appropriate boundaries build standards for how I will allow others to treat me.
Healthy boundaries are essential for trust and openness to grow and develop. Within these boundaries, we build a deeper connection and share what is acceptable and what is not.
I continue to find that most of my work in this area is internal. The first relationship is with myself and self-awareness leads to acceptance and love. From this self-awareness, I can extend myself by developing relationships built on mutual trust, respect, and support.
Empathy and compassion are created through relationships and a commitment to something or someone greater than you.
Our relationships vary in degree and intensity and are based on trust, honesty, integrity, and caring. We create our authentic relationships based on our self-awareness and social awareness.
All healthy relationships begin with connection. When we nurture our connection, we seek to honor, empower and uplift the spirit in the other. We bring our authenticity, vulnerability, and integrity to our friends, family, and workmates. We bring as much or more than we receive.
Let us all base our relationships on authenticity, empathy, compassion, and generosity.
For overall health and well being, it is essential to have a good and kind relationship with ourselves.
Kindness, acceptance, and love for ourselves is the groundwork for our love for others. We have no hope of truly loving another unless we practice kindness and self love for ourselves. Our relationships with others reflects our relationship with ourselves.
We first must recognize our relationship with Divinity and become aware of our worthiness. As emanations of the Divine, we are worthy of love simply because we are alive. We are worthy of goodness, kindness, health, abundance, and loving supportive relationships because we are spiritual beings having a human experience.
Our outer relationships resonate with the love that blossoms in each of us.
We are all worthy of loving and supportive relationships.
I greatly appreciate those individuals who sit lightly in our world. I love when we can laugh at ourselves. My nature is a bit on the serious side. I am naturally introspective and thoughtful and enjoy deep conversations.
I also love laughter. I find it healing and refreshing. I think a good sense of humor; especially self-effacing humor, is essential for a healthy life. I greatly appreciate people who can laugh at themselves.
I love when our lives bubble up with joy and laughter. Divinity is playful, full of joy, and has a wonderful sense of humor.
I am grateful for laughter and joy.
As I continue to study, reflect, and work to be a good, caring person, I do my best not to be judgmental. This continues to be a challenge. On balance, I am open and accepting but I continue to struggle with past hurts. Particularly when someone has broken my trust. I find it very difficult to trust that person again.
I find there is great wisdom in believing that every person is doing the best they can with what they know and what their life experience has been. When I allow myself to accept that truth, I can move to understanding. I can forgive and possibly be empathetic.
My life has been grounded in the core values of caring, compassion, trust, hard work, and integrity. I know what is right and wrong for me. I do not know what is right and wrong for you.
There is so much hate in our world now. We think we know what is right or wrong for everyone. We need to reclaim the beauty of perspective; to see the world through the eyes and experience of the other. We need to work towards compromise or at least listen to each other.
I rededicate myself to acceptance and gratitude.
Throughout my life, I have found that some of the important tools and practices are prayer, meditation, service to others, art, poetry, solitude, nature, music, empathy, compassion, trust, truth, and love.
Always love.
I find it is always important to accept life as it impacts us. What we resist, will persist. Acceptance of the pandemic or acceptance of my heart surgery means I do my part. I wear my mask and get my vaccinations. I get my heart surgery and follow my plant-based diet and continue my exercise program.
The essence of life is that we are loved. Unconditionally loved by a divinity that is with us and in us. I rejoice in every experience life has given me. The laughter and the tears.
Love is in every moment.
We are all human beings with infinite and endless possibilities. Inspiration is the beginning of moving forward and making our possibilities real. Inspiration moves us beyond our perceived limits.
When we are inspired, we are literally breathing in spirit. Inspiration, from the Latin "in spiritus", means to breathe in spirit. When we breathe in spirit, we are breathing in the Divine. We are breathing in God. When we breathe in spirit, everything is possible. We rise to the occasion. We embrace the dream. Our talents and abilities come to the surface.
Inspiration fills you with Divine energy.
Despite all the challenges of the past two years, it is imperative that we still find enthusiasm, joy, and love in our life's journey.
Feeling joy, enthusiasm, and love is our God-given inheritance.
When the pandemic first began and there was a shortage of essential home products, I received a call asking if my family needed anything. My wife asked for toilet paper. The next day, a mountain of toilet paper was at my front door. The joy and love of community was at my front door.
When I returned to life after a six-hour open-heart surgery, I couldn't move, drains, tubes and wires were running in and out of my body. Sandra was there with her unconditional love. The nurses brought me to enthusiastic laughter, entertaining me with word games as I shuffled my first steps down the hallway.
If we dwell on the negative, the world can steal our joy and enthusiasm. We are each precious children of unlimited love. Our purpose is to share our joy, enthusiasm, and love and uplift the world one person at a time.
Let us appreciate the moments we have together. So many of us have faced challenge, trauma, pain, and grief these past 2 years. For me, it was heart surgery one year ago.
I find happiness when I can appreciate those in my life just the way they are. When I can see the unique beauty in each person in my life, I am filled with love. When there is love within us, then love grows into the world.
There is no need to fix or change, just appreciate. We have so few moments together.
Let us appreciate and love.
Let us see the sacred in all life.
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." Romans 12:2
When you have an idea or a dream, don't look for approval from a social group. We surrender our authenticity and leadership when we seek approval from a social group.
Leaders step forward and serve the greater good. They look upward and onward. They dream a vision beyond the social conformity.
Move ahead with courage.
Dream your unique dream.
When we focus on love, compassion, empathy, and integrity those values move from us to impact and uplift others beyond our physical sphere of influence.
Compassion and caring for our fellow humans connect us and promotes understanding and unity. We discover the Divine in each of us.
When we see others through eyes of compassion, we see the best in our fellow human beings.
"Remember you have been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn't worked.
Try approving of yourself and see what happens." – Louise Hay
We are emanations of Divine love. See the light and love that is in your fellow humans. We are here to offer all the good that is within us.
We must be open to the joy, peace, and love that is our birthright. Be aware of your true nature and shower the world with your abundant gifts.
We are each here to shine God's loving light upon the earth.
Love and approve of yourself. Shine your light and be aware and appreciate the light in others.
Let us keep ourselves honest, truthful, caring, and kind. Let us practice gratitude, fairness, compassion, and empathy.
Let us strive to be the person that God made us to be. Respect all life and care for each other.
Life is short.
Be a person of good character.
Act for the good of humanity.
Compassion is at the heart of all the good that human beings have done in the world.
Compassion calls us to serve, uplift, and support others as we would wish to be served, uplifted, and supported.
Compassion demands that we work to end the pain of our fellow humans and to honor the sacredness of every human life.
We are called to treat every human being with justice, fairness, respect, equity, and compassion.
March is National Women's Month. Women, the sacred feminine, is essential to all life. She is half the conversation. She is half the salvation and half of our wholeness.
It is finally time for women to thrive. Our world has had enough of male dominance and macho ego. The voices of great women from Mary to Magdelene, from Eleanor Roosevelt to Mother Teresa, have taught us there is another way. Even Jesus came to us "meek and humble of heart" (Matthew 11:29).
It is time to heal the male addiction to power over others. Maybe the eternal feminine is needed to heal our wars, oppression, hatred, and mistrust.
We must listen to the feminine voice inside all of us.
Empathy does not make us soft. Empathy makes us fully human. When we can understand those that feel very differently than we do, they become more human in our eyes.
It is very easy to be judgmental. It takes great effort and empathy to seek to know and understand. We can never know the history and challenges of those whose wounds we do not understand.
We have all been broken. We all will fall and fail, again and again. Empathy says “judge not lest ye be judged.”
"From ancient times, a decline in courage has been considered the first symptom of the end." Alexander Solzhenitsyn
"If not you, who? If not now, when?" - Hillel
Courage is always a risk. Like all the courageous people of history, we are at a pivotal moment.
Will we stand for character?
Will we speak the truth?
Will we conquer the fear of disapproval and follow our North Star?
Will we be people of character and values?
Listen! Did you hear the call?
Our life's mission calls to us from deep inside our soul.
We each are invited to be all that we can be.
My wife Sandra, is full of love and joy. Most mornings you can find her singing a happy tune. Sandra has an inner light that never ceases to shine, even when we are challenged.
Sandra is devoted to her family and is a good and loving friend. She has given the past 38 years of her life to our special needs daughter Ashley. In her 24/7 service, she finds a deep satisfaction. She knows she is fulfilling her purpose. Sandra has a deep and loving faith. Her life is not easy.
An average day is up at 7:30 AM and she starts Ashley's medications, breathing treatments, percussion treatments, and diapering. Tube feeding also begins at the same time. On most days Ashley is up in her wheelchair by 10:30 AM and Sandra begins other tasks. At noon it is medicine time again and at 5 PM it is feeding time and it's 7 PM it is medicine time again. At 10 PM Ashley is put into bed and the breathing treatment, percussion treatment, and diapering begin again. Through all of this exhausting work, Sandra has a serenity. She is resolved in her loving care. She finds great joy and giving herself to the good of others.
"Too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Dr. Leo Buscaglia
I have had the privilege to spend many hours with those in their final days. Universally we want to know; Did our life have meaning? Did it matter that we were here? We all want to feel that our lives had meaning and purpose. We all have contributed something special to this world. We all leave something meaningful.
Do not wait until someone is leaving this life. Let them know now. Tell people you love and appreciate them. Let them know they have contributed to your life. Let them know they have made a positive impact, a difference in life.
When we acknowledge and affirm each other, we transform our lives.
Be generous and abundant with your compliments.
Extend loving kindness to everyone.
Life is a gift. We are each blessed with our spirit and our divine uniqueness.
We are each different. If we look close enough, we see everything and everyone is different. We can find similarities but none of us are the same.
We all bring our unique light to the world. We all shine differently.
The moon does not complain that it is not as bright as the sun. The moon does not feel less than the sun.
We must stop comparing, judging, and evaluating each other.
Trust that your uniqueness is needed in the world.
We are all different. Each of us expressing our uniqueness to make the world a better place.
Happiness is sharing your gift in your unique way.
I don't remember consciously inviting this difficult time period into my life. I pray to move through this as soon as possible. I am aware that in the past, difficult times have been good for my soul and strengthened my character.
Difficult times have invited me to gather my character traits, virtues, faith, and love to face adversity. "If you bring forth what is within you, what is within you will save you." - Gospel of Thomas
Difficult times liberate us from our ego-driven, me, me, me. Today's questions appear difficult. I search deeper and longer for truth. I join with my unseen allies; spirit, angels, and unconditional love. I listen to the "still, small voice."
The universe speaks to me and I am engaged in a relationship with the whole world. We all thrive on interdependence. We are all interconnected. This is our opportunity. Pour your love and purpose into every day. Be yourself. Be fully authentic.
There are no small actions. The world needs you. Now!
"You cannot solve a problem by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them." - Albert Einstein
The challenges we are all currently facing will not be solved by sitting around a conference table discussing the problem. Each one of us is being called to act responsibly. We are all responsible for what we think, say, feel, and do. It is time to accept the call to heal ourselves, each other and our planet. We can forgive and let go of any negative thoughts that impact our spirits. We can contribute to the good.
Know that there is a greater power of unconditional love at work in our life and in the lives of all humanity.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." - Gandhi
When we make a commitment to build community, we create "we" stories. We honor and value each other's courage and vulnerability and we share our skills and strengths in service to the greater good.
We share leadership. We reclaim our power to help ourselves. We do not wait for permission. When we see a human need, we fill it.
We prioritize the community's good over individual ego.
We emphasize connection. We share food, laughter, tears, and dreams.
We plan for the future and implement now!
We practice gratitude and forgiveness.
We know we are servant leaders.
We know our community is defined by how we care for the young, old, poor, disabled, and those who are very sad and disconnected.
We take responsibility and apologize when we make mistakes.
"The secret of life is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of every day, for the rest of your life. And the most important thing is, it must be something you cannot possibly do." – Henry Moore
Love and Commitment have always been my 2 highest core values. When I make a commitment, it is a promise that originated in love. When I see a need, I fill it, or I find other resources that can do the job better than I can.
Throughout my now almost 50 years in professional service to education, I have made countless commitments. My commitments often seem to be involuntary. I don't think, I automatically say yes. Sometimes that has been problematic.
I find that more often, my service to schools, teachers, students, and parents is part of my identity. My commitments make me part of any organization I am serving.
My commitments are relationships built on empathy, compassion, and trust.
I love my work. I love those I serve. Together we build a structure for students and staff to thrive, learn, and be healthy. My commitments are my identity. They are how I get acquainted with those I serve. My commitments make my pulse beat. They make my eyes shine and they make my face glow.
My commitments coincide with my sense of purpose. They are why I am here. They give me, and my life, a sense of meaning. My commitments have brought me freedom from fear, addictions, depression, and narcissism. My commitments have built my character.
My commitments have helped me answer the essential question: "What is life asking of me?"
So, reflect on your life. What have you loved doing? What has uplifted your heart and soul? What has called to you?
Commit your life to those answers.
Many of us are fortunate to know we are blessed to feel appreciation, and gratitude for the simple pleasures of life. To feel the wonder in a flower in bloom. To feel the awe in a crimson and pink sunset. To feel the ecstasy of holding the hand of someone you have loved for over 43 years.
I am so grateful to wake up and think of possibilities. Each morning I let go of the past and think of the wonderful, infinite possibilities that are waiting for me. I focus on my dreams and my goals.
I live my life with gratitude and appreciation. I live in a comfortable home. I have a warm shower. I have a warm bed to sleep in and a variety of foods to nourish me.
I can calm my mind, release my stress, and open myself to new possibilities.
We are all here for a short time, twenty, forty, sixty, eighty, one hundred years. We are here to love and be loved. We are here to learn and relearn that we are all children of unconditional love.
We are here to help our sisters and brothers remember who they are. We are here to remember we are all members of one beloved family.
We are here to break down walls and build bridges. Walls are built on fear. Bridges are built on unity. In our unity, we are all here for just a little while to remember to love and be loved.
We are all members of the family of love.
